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Why is it so hard to love yourself?

Why is it so hard to love yourself?

If it feels like there are times you are the most confident and vibrant woman in the room, and then the next moment or day your inner critic grabs the megaphone and begins to take over… you're not alone lovely. 

Welcome to the rollercoaster ride of self-love in your 20s and 30s (I guess anytime throughout womanhood). Self-love, a journey filled with highs and lows, triumphs and setbacks, but ultimately, a journey worth embracing.

A quote I read once, that always stuck with me went something like this… ‘If you were asked to name all that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself’ - that hit hard.

As a woman I feel a bit like what the Barbie movie states, that you have to feel beautiful and be confident, but not too beautiful and confident.


In a world where we're constantly bombarded with curated images of perfection on social media, it's easy to fall into the trap of comparison and self-doubt. We scroll through feeds filled with flawless faces, toned bodies, and seemingly picture-perfect lives, wondering why we don't measure up.

Do you sometimes feel like you question your worth, abilities, and appearance and forget that the reality of being a human is that life is a bit messy?

Everyone is learning and evolving through each season of life, and the sooner we all embrace that, the sooner we will love our own selves and see others for who they really are too.

Unique Journey

But here's the truth: self-love is not about achieving perfection or fitting into society's - and sometimes your loved ones’ - narrow standards of beauty and success. It's about embracing your bumps and lumps, your past and mistakes, the timing of your life and your limitations, and really… the season you are in (wow that’s a lot!). That’s why it can be so damn hard right?

Owning your beautiful individual power is so raw… and loving yourself fiercely truly gives yourself the deepest and truest forms of love. You are inherently worthy of love and belonging, simply by virtue of being alive and being you.

Transform Inner Critic into Inner Compassion

So how do we silence the relentless voice of our inner critic and cultivate a deeper sense of self-love?

It starts with practising self-compassion. I like to think of this step as treating ourselves as we would a sister or a friend. Instead of beating ourselves up for our perceived shortcomings, we need to treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we would offer to a dear friend.

I know that this is easier said than done, as a pregnant mother with a toddler life can sometimes feel depleted of any energy to bring back to yourself in moments when you feel low.

Choosing a mantra that helps alleviate your inner triggers in those low moments truly helps. Our language and thoughts are the best thing we can pivot to create a huge impact… but perhaps this (huge) topic is for another blog.

The journey to self-love is an ongoing process – a series of small, intentional choices made every day to honour and nurture ourselves. 

So the next time your inner critic starts to rear its ugly head, remember: you are worthy, you are enough, and you are deserving of love, just as you are. 

Embrace the beautiful messiness of being the woman you are with EVERY ounce of uniqueness. Remember, when your light shines bright, it lights up the world around you.

Love Loren x


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